Thomas

Nobody remembers precisely when Thomas first picked up a hammer.

Some say he was born holding one. Others insist that his first word was "ANVIL."

Thomas refuses to comment on either account, although he has been known to complain that modern hammers are not what they used to be.

Over the years, his craftsmanship earned him a formidable reputation. Adventurers have come and gone, kingdoms have risen and fallen, and countless swords have been lost in particularly foolish circumstances.

Thomas has outlived them all.

His greatest challenge, however, was never forging a legendary weapon or mastering the secrets of the furnace.

It was raising two sons.

Eddie, the elder or younger depending on which of them you ask, showed an early interest in the family trade. Unfortunately, he eventually decided that armour was more interesting than swords.

Thomas called it a phase.

Eddie opened his own shop.

Thomas is still waiting for the phase to end.

Dr Chris, meanwhile, abandoned the forge entirely in favour of medicine, a profession Thomas initially dismissed as "blacksmithing for people who complain too much."

Despite this, Thomas is secretly rather proud of his son's accomplishments.

He simply wishes Chris would stop telling him to rest his back, drink more water, and stop testing the temperature of hot iron with his bare hands.

Family gatherings are another matter entirely.

With Eddie, Chris, and their cousins Ed and Edd all in attendance, Thomas has long since abandoned the use of individual names. He now prefers to shout "BOY!" in the general direction of whichever family member has disappointed him most recently.

It is a remarkably efficient system.

For all his grumbling, Thomas is fiercely protective of his family and takes genuine pride in their achievements.

He may criticise Eddie's craftsmanship and question Chris's career choices, but anyone else attempting to do the same is strongly advised to remain outside swinging distance.

After all, a man's sons are his greatest creations.

Even if neither of them turned out quite the way he intended.

• The original family business. Thomas has repeatedly offered to teach Dr Chris the art of smithing. Chris insists that he already has a profession. Thomas considers this an entirely unreasonable excuse.

• Like father, like son. Thomas and Eddie have spent years arguing over the proper way to make armour. Neither will admit that the other is an exceptionally talented craftsman.

• A proud father. Thomas keeps track of his sons' accomplishments but insists that he only does so to identify areas where they could improve.

• Family gatherings. Thomas once attempted to distinguish Ed, Edd, and Eddie by assigning them numbers. The experiment ended when all three insisted on being number one.

• Traditional medicine. When asked whether he has ever visited Dr Chris for treatment, Thomas replied that a blacksmith who cannot straighten his own bones has no business straightening metal.

• An important distinction. Thomas maintains that there are three types of people in the world: those who know how to use a hammer, those who can learn, and his sons.

Thomas has an exceptionally high standard for craftsmanship. While he often complains about his family, his criticism should not be mistaken for a lack of affection.

His relationship with Eddie is built on mutual respect, stubbornness, and a shared inability to acknowledge when the other is right.

His relationship with Dr Chris is somewhat more complicated, largely because Chris has started using medical terminology to win arguments.

• Eddie - Thomas's son and an accomplished armourer, despite his father's ongoing criticism.
• Dr Chris - Thomas's other son, who inexplicably decided that repairing people was preferable to repairing swords.
• Ed - An extended family member and frequent participant in chaotic family gatherings.
• Edd - Another extended family member, whose name Thomas frequently gets wrong.
• Smithing - Thomas's lifelong passion and, according to him, the foundation of civilisation.